Editing Ourselves

We present edited versions of ourselves to the world.

We edit ourselves in many ways – when we choose our clothes; arrange the expressions on our faces; pick the words we use. We edit ourselves based on what we think is acceptable. We consider our imaginary audience and say what fits. We present ourselves in particular ways.

There is a downside to editing ourselves. We stay quiet in the face of injustice; cower instead of standing on principle. We ride with the tide of public opinion, nodding on the outside while feeling disturbed on the inside. We do this, because we know pay a price when we say something controversial or different.

So thin-skinned people avoid speaking up, because the price of criticism is greater the more sensitive you are. You get afraid of getting rammed on the head with a caustic remark. You don’t want to be lonely clown under a harsh spotlight, facing a jeering crowd. You stay quiet; do nothing, taking comfort in invisibility. You count the cost of public attention and convince yourself it isn’t worth it.

There is, however, a positive side to editing ourselves. Anything spoken with tact, humility and respect goes much farther in influencing others. Our choice of words can affect deeply whether the truth of we speak is accepted or considered. We learn self control when we bite our tongues; develop character when we face criticisms patiently. We learn perseverance when we continue to fight regardless of opposition.

Self-editing can be very hard. I can’t count the number of times I have had to stop myself from clicking ‘send’ after typing a sarcastic response to an email. My defiant nature and tendency to grumble makes self-editing a difficult job.

Editing ourselves is tiring. It makes us seek friends with whom we don’t have to be somebody, where we can be less conscious of saying the right things, doing the right things – where we can be less guarded. We take comfort in friends who accept us, who love us regardless, warts and all.

It makes us seek solitude – the space of quietness and reflection where we can recharge and re-centre; where we can figure out the why and how of engaging in the world. We need this so we can re-emerge with strength and focus.

We make choices when we edit ourselves. As we mature, we get better at deciding what to edit out and what to leave in. We learn when to respond and when to stay silent. We make mistakes along the way; our lives are imperfect. We need to learn and move on.